He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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