maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
