I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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