..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
