Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
