Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
