we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
