he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
