Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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