i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
