Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize