We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
