PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think your dad took our porno
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
