I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
