yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
