He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
