Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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