I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
