I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
