How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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