Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize