Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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