see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
