just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
