scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Farmville is her only friend.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
