god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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