I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Rumble strips road head = magical
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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