It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
