Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
