you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
