but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
