apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
