Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
