doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
