Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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