I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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