If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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