I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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