Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
