I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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