A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
