I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize