Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
