Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
