you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize