I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Ketchup is God's man juice
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize