Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
