I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
