Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
