last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
