did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
