your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
