sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
