she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
