can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
