peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
