k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
