Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize