So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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