he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
