I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
