If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
