We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
