Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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